Welcome to the Lighthouse
This is the beginning. A place for my thoughts, fragments, and echoes. A lighthouse for those lost at sea. If you're reading this, it means I was here.
This is the beginning. A place for my thoughts, fragments, and echoes. A lighthouse for those lost at sea. If you're reading this, it means I was here.
It's been a long time coming.
A place to call my own.
A place that hopefully won't wither away.
A place where I can speak my thoughts.
I want to be more than I currently am.
To feel hope, to help others, to be kind.
To wonder about life and existence instead of despairing over it.
Like most people, I have lived a life of turmoil and chaos.
I was mentally and physically abused in relationships for years, betrayed and tossed aside.
Depression took me into a bubble for years, almost decades now that I think about it.
And then I was hit with stage 4 cancer.
Through some miracle I cannot even comprehend to understand,
I survived. I should be happy ... right?
Have you ever sat there, in silence for a couple minutes, questioning your own mortality?
I have...
And now... I am lost at sea.
Many people shy away from it and try to block it off.
Why?
Because it is the most terrifying thing you can think about.
A large black void that seems to devour all.
Purely logically assuming we have no afterlife, what point is there?
Having a career, being popular, helping people, enjoying life...
Whether you are remembered or not...
It all ends ultimately, in death.
However we humans are clever and came up with ways to make this idea less scary.
We call it religion and it can understandably give people hope and comfort.
We do not know what comes beyond death, so we speculate.
We create ideas of a life beyond, use it to employ ethics and social standards.
And while today's society is further from a so-called "god" than ever before.
We still constantly yearn for this comfort deep inside ourselves.
However much we don't dare to look at it.
We are screaming at each other because we do not comfort ourselves.
I once read a short story by Andy Weir.
It was called The Egg.
In it, someone dies—
and finds themselves face to face with… something.
A presence. A god, maybe.
They begin asking questions.
About life. About the universe.
About what comes next.
And then the truth unfolds:
They will be reborn.
Not once.
Not twice.
But again, and again, and again…
Until they have lived every single human life that has ever existed.
Every pain. Every joy. Every betrayal. Every love.
And when that final life is lived—
when the soul has become all people—
the universe, which was only ever an egg, will crack…
And they will become a god.
Why am I focusing on this story?
Because that's the story that I found most comfortable at the time.
Is it purely speculative?
Yes of course.
Just like every other religion.
We do not know.
And yet we find things we cling to in times of facing this void.
I believe that should be enough for a first post.
I want to continue this. I want to strive to do better.
I want to be.
- Keeper of the Lighthouse